There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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