I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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