Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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