I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Green mimosas i think yes
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
