I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize