You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
