When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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