you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Are my feet made of real feet?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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