please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I think I died a long time ago.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Randomize
