i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
