just come out here and I will go home with you...
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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