i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
