my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
