just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
