I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
