I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
