its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
