I showed him my bush... on skype.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
