it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
