Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
