Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
