Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
