i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
is wine microwaveable?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize