new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
