Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
