and you said cock pushups were impossible
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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