I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
