i just wanna soil my oats bro
North Korea, Best Korea!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
