i think i have two assholes
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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