She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
