I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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