dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
do herpes really smell.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
