he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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