but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
