What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
