my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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