we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
