In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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