I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
