I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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