I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize