Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
