Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
