well you can't waste a boner
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
