Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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