Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
