We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
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Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
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I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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