Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
