I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
