If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
