So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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