I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
