watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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