Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
