FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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