Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
