if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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