Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
