She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize
