Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
