Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  to do: lose virginity to hamster dance

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): to do: lose virginity to hamster dance http://tfl.nu/0r0s
  Replies (25) Good night (985) Bad night (2533)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances," http://tfl.nu/u663
  Replies (83) Good night (3543) Bad night (2787)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it. http://tfl.nu/8mle
  Replies (71) Good night (629) Bad night (4703)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault. http://tfl.nu/lznh
  Replies (115) Good night (6411) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this. http://tfl.nu/iqku
  Replies (46) Good night (6953) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made. http://tfl.nu/ax9s
  Replies (13) Good night (4239) Bad night (1777)
• Favorite

  (754): View more from Florida

  He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?

  (954): View more from Florida

  In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (754): He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach? (954): In the hopes he'll just put it in one day? http://tfl.nu/u4da
  Replies (100) Good night (1409) Bad night (8166)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm? http://tfl.nu/94o0
  Replies (11) Good night (1571) Bad night (3391)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes. http://tfl.nu/jo0i
  Replies (7) Good night (1042) Bad night (3224)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear. http://tfl.nu/rnay
  Replies (1) Good night (2218) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water http://tfl.nu/kjo7
  Replies (4) Good night (350) Bad night (1513)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers. http://tfl.nu/38v9
  Replies (9) Good night (1566) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (587): View more from Alberta

  So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (587): So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes. (403): Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck http://tfl.nu/3zrr
  Replies (7) Good night (1641) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really http://tfl.nu/kw3p
  Replies (6) Good night (1285) Bad night (272)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat http://tfl.nu/4o67
  Replies (2) Good night (211) Bad night (411)

Randomize