i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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