it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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