Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(204): View more from Manitoba

It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.

Fav 8 4198 837
share tweet
(479): View more from Arkansas

hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?

(1-479): View more from Arkansas

what?

(479): View more from Arkansas

your penis

Fav 11 1809 4178
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(347): View more from New York

i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning

Fav 13 4486 892
share tweet
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on

Fav 24 7943 1214
share tweet
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Read it at the TFLN blog
(907): View more from Alaska

The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.

(907): View more from Alaska

Nevermind, it's not water.

Fav 24 7473 1085
share tweet
(613): View more from Ontario

Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom

Fav 13 1193 5349
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(918): View more from Oklahoma

We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime

Fav 24 4506 1300
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(718): View more from New York

this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican

Fav 27 838 1785
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(256): View more from Alabama

its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints

Fav 0 633 392
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT