I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
