We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
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we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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