Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
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