Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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